Today, we speak in the glory of The Great Indian Chamcha. The unrivaled breed surviving since prehistoric times being a yes man, an oily, gummy creature who pesters around his boss to gain personal benefits. In India the chamchagiri (sycophancy) has become a religion. If you are not a chamcha then you did not grow up right. If you do not possess qualities of a chamcha then you might not climb the ladder of success or for exceptionally skilled non-chamchas, it may take more time than it usually takes in other corners of the world.
However, the matter of fact is how are these chamchas so different from the commoners? They have no backbone, no self-respect, no skills apart of chamchagiri, for them worship is work. And there are many possibilities that they have special Z chromosomes in their body cells too.
These Chamchas have been accidental PM, CM, journalist, best actor, ‘employee of the month’, ‘student of the year’, item girl, CEO, manager, PA, accountants, peon, best lover, gangster, cobbler, plumber, mason and everything possible, in India just by the virtue of chamchagiri. Such a noble quality!
Indian history, literature and entertainment are so chamcha rich that we can name them on our finger tips. Uncle Shakuni (from Mahabharata), maid Manthara (from Ramayana), Birbal, Tenaliram, Kalia (from Sholay), Circuit (from Munna Bhai MBBS) are some of the epic examples.
A few lines in praise of the greatest praisers-
Men are from Mars, women from Venus,
Earth is an empire of sycophants.
Nobody can do things for you,
As these praise spewing ants.
Speak bizarre, share your stupidest plan,
But if you are powerful,
Expect praises from your yes man.
Keep them in your benignant shade,
Gift them with their desired accolade,
For appraisals, power, position or cash,
They would readily even kiss your ass.
Mutants of the world,
Victim of moral degeneration,
They have lost their backbone,
Coaxed with corruption.
But you dare not to treat them so low,
Before them the commoners bow.
Swallowing lovingly the rejected bites,
They have learnt how to reach the heights.
With the only skill to praise and no nerve,
The Great Indian Chamcha was born to serve.