I was in search of my love, but when I first met you, I found that I had always loved you in my dreams, in my aspirations, in my newborn expectations and in the naughty anticipations. You were the very figure I used to admire as my male counterpart. The first sight of yours instigated a thrilling tremor in my mind, drifted me to an unknown world of elation. Every time I tried to draw your attention towards me. Deliberately, I brush passed you, talked loudly near you, chuckled in the most alluring manner, did flaunt my silky hair….. my femininity was at its best to appeal you. But my proud womanhood sobbed every time my efforts went unnoticed. I craved for your gaze, your smile and your attention. I craved to be a part of your life, I wished you to take care of my existence. You remained engrossed with your jocund friends and I kept stealing away your glimpses from the edges of the wall. My love for you got prodigious and then you took a notice of me in your world, you looked at me (Oh! I can give up my life for that single look of yours…), you smiled at me (and you killed me…).
With every passing day, my anticipations got wilder and I tried to get closer to you. How badly I longed to get engulfed by the fiery vehemence of your deep and penetrating eyes. Your manly moves enchanted me. I dreamed of you walking by my side, holding my hand, guiding me to a strange valley of love and kissing me from dawn till the dusk. But my aspirations never turned into reality, you never took a step to get closer to me although I know that you had very well fathomed the endless depth of the sea of love in my heart for you. I loathed the girls you talked to and whom you touched anyway ever. What pained me the most was your deliberate shirking me off you whenever I attempted to get near you. You wanted me to get off you or you just hated me, I never came to know.
The painful realization that I could never get into your heart (where I loved you like a frenzied fanatic), was slowly poisoning me to death. Gradually, you turned out to be a butcher to me who confined my heart in the cage of his love and stabbed it cruelly. Those months of my hellish existence were completely soaked in the desire to be with you and when you deserted my world, my life remained drowned in your bitter-sweet memories. Now, when I think of you, I feel the pain. Love, it makes us so helpless, pierce the heart every moment and the pangs of separation shatter it into countless of pieces. I am in captivation of my insecure love and somewhere deep down in my heart is a hope flickering that someday you will turn back to me.