Dads need a hug!

To the readers: This post is quite personal. You may skip if your’re not interested in my personal life.
When I saw the video #HugYourDad by Vicks emphasizing on the power of a parent’s touch, I got totally emotional. Hugs, cuddle, holding hands, these touchy actions fall just into my mother’s department. I don’t easily remember when did I hug my father. When I was about to move into the teenager zone, I remember how I was afraid to hold papa’s hands. While all my friends who used to come with their fathers in the parents-teacher meet would come hanging on their dad’s arms. Such extent of closeness, I don’t remember if I have ever experienced in my life with my father.
My dad is a typical man of the patriarchal society of Bihar. Of course, patriarchy wasn’t all about anti-women. It also has some positive things attached to it. Like my father has always stood in the front foot to get the smashes of the innings of life. Whatever happens my family knows there stands a man who would ultimately take care of every small-big things that fall onto us.
I have a faint memory of holding my father’s index finger while walking to the school. I did not cry on my first day to school. Perhaps, I knew that crying couldn’t help me to get even a sweet word of affection. I and my siblings have grown keeping in our minds that Papa is a serious man. He is strict. He wants things in place. We should not watch TV. We should play less and study as much as we can. Pocket money are for kids who have rich dads. Money needs to be spent cautiously. God exists. Parents are next to God. One must be sincere and truthful in life. Love marriage is bad and Papa is short tempered man but he would take care of all the shit we create after he scolds us up to his heart’s content.
I am like me because of the things that happened to me in my childhood. We are all like ourselves because of the experience that has carved us. My father had a troubled childhood. He had to struggle a lot to have three meals a day, to get educated and to find a job. He never received that protection and support from his parents that I and my brother and sister have taken for granted in our lives. When I think why Papa is so rigid and strict, why I fear him most of the times and why does he want us to earn more and be successful in life, then I feel it is all because he doesn’t want us to confront what he had to as a kid and as an adult. Working double shifts to give us a comfortable life, not going to restaurants, not spending on luxuries, I have seen my parents making sacrifices for us. Starting from his childhood to today, I understand how has he reached to this place. He is serviceman in a Govt firm. He earns well and educated his three kids in the best possible way. I couldn’t have walked even half a mile if I had to be in his shoes.
Namrata Kumari, dads need a hug, father's day

 

Time has changed. Papa has positioned all his children at a secure place in their lives. But he still is rigid and tough from outside. I don’t dare to touch him except when I have to touch his feet to receive his blessings. Perhaps, the fault lies in our sides as well. We kept fearing and never tried to break the shell of rigidity around. Somewhere, he might be needing a support, one person he could depend on. He is standing strong and independent since ages which has made him harsh. I wish I could just say that he can rely on me. I will take care of him. But I feel hesitant. I wish on this Father’s day I could just hug and express my care. However, I lack courage. But this doesn’t change the fact that our parents who strongly held us and dragged us to a position where we could feel proud and successful, need a touch of care when we grow up. I hope I would be able to do this for my parents someday.
This father’s day, I am expressing my love towards my dad by participating in the #HugYourDad activity at BlogAdda in association with Vicks.

Namrata Kumari

Hello! My name is Namrata Kumari. I am a daily 10 to 8 office worker and lately, I realized that this is not what my life should be like. I cannot just commute to my work place, work there for ten hours, come back to my apartment and sleep to wake up to do the same old thing day after every day. I know there are people just like me who wish to break through this monotonous cycle and make their lives even more purposeful. I chose blogging as a way to bring the much needed change in my life and to reach out those who share the same feelings. If you have any valuable suggestions then please share it below in the comment box.

8 Comments

  1. Wah Namrata superb
    Dad's are tuff but also soft at heart, all dad's are like that, I remember as a Kid we were too not allowed to watch TV when he is at home, and were not allowed to speak louder, but time changes and yes with time my relation with Dad also changed and my dad is my best friend now, he always say there should be differences : in point of view but not in Hearts, I can talk to him on any topic and whenever I sat with him, I walk away wiser..
    Anyways beautifully written Namrata 🙂
    Keep it up
    Have a wonderful Day ahead
    Regards
    Bhavikk shah

  2. There are a very few people among my friends who understand what it is like to have a dad like mine. I am happy that you share my feelings in this regard. Thank You so much, Bhavikk. 🙂 I hope with time, I too would become a good friend of my parents.

  3. A lovely tribute :). Our parents do so much to give us a life of luxury, love and care without expecting anything in return.

  4. Hi,
    It is one of the best tribute you can give to a father, and you have achieved it Namratha Kumari. I was happy to read your article and know about your personal life. Coming to me, I was so scared of my father since childhood and everything I have to ask is through my mother only although my father is so loving and caring and only serious outside my soft at heart but I have no idea about that until I realise that I have to break that fear after my teenage and now we are like friends. Now I am a father of 2 kids and my son feels the same like me although I love and care more than my father did to me. Many of the fathers look scary to their child outside but those childs are ignorant that fathers love more than the mothers most of the time. My son is the best example for that. Although he looks scared of me, he still wants to be with me rather than with his mother ..but during sleep he wants his mother to be beside him…not me…LOL…he is a balancing act and coming to my daughter, she loves me a lot and this 2 years wonder kid takes care of my health my helping in giving medicines with her hand, giving everything she eat a piece to me first and don’t leave my lap all round the clock. I got a bit emotional too and sorry for the lengthy message….Once again thanks for this beautiful post and sharing…have a nice day.

    • I am so happy to know that you share a similar feeling as me. I totally agree with you. Fathers may appear rigid and harsh but they are soft at heart. Also, I am so glad that you shared your personal side here relating to what I wished to express from my personal life. Thanks again. Please keep visiting. 🙂

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