That night, I was gazing up at the night sky. Perhaps, I was trying to seek a ray of hope beaming out of one among the countless stars shimmering brilliantly. While toddling slowly on the terrace, I was lost in contemplation. The fear of facing a different and distant world and the sorrow of leaving home had overshadowed my mind. I had never gone too far from my home. My college was roughly around five hours away from my hometown which allowed me to visit my family once in every month. But this time it had to be a separation of several months and staying with people from different places. And now, that I had stayed with my parents for three continuous months (after four long years of college life), a thought of parting from them again had filled my mind with several doubts and fear.
I have always considered myself the most sensitive among all. Little things can upset and unnerve me or inspire me to a high extent. Pain, sorrow, happiness or glee, I have always seen myself as the best conductor of every feeling. I knew that my parents loved me but was unsure whether they were feeling the same about the moment as I do. Certainly, they had already witnessed and experienced all this home leaving and related stuffs in their lives. Why wouldn’t they had thought about all this as a mere phase which would eventually pass and kept calm as it was visible from their faces?
I was considering my parents insensitive only to realize that I was the most insensitive one to overlook their silent observations. They had already read my mind. When I went back to home from the terrace Maa (mother) asked me whether I was afraid. She made me understand a few things and told me about how painful it was for her when she had left her home. I was going alone to Hyderabad. There was not a single known face coming with me to the strange land I had to move to. For which Maa explained how in life we meet different people. How some stay, some forget us, some are left by us, some go away and we meet newer ones. That night she held me while sleeping occasionally moving her hands over my head. It worked on me as a soothing magihad tootion. I could feel her sorrow which she was hiding to make me feel strong. That very moment I decided to be as strong as my mother. I decided even if I have to leave home, I will find a greater purpose in it. I will do something special for my parents someday. I was still afraid but not hopeless or doubtful. That very moment I changed my perspective and thus, started a new life.
P.S. Time I spent in Hyderabad happens to be one of the best experiences in my life.
And here’s a wonderful, colorful video brought to us by housing.com–
I was inspired to write this post by housing.com‘s activity about ‘Start A New Life’.